Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

The U.S. hasn’t seen a new confirmed human bird flu case in nearly 4 months — why? - Yahoo

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

How do great movie moments influence how people handle real-life moral dilemmas?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What does it mean when someone tells you they love you and want you in their life, but doesn't want to commit?

I don’t buy bullshit

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Never Too Late to Start Eating the MIND Diet That May Prevent Dementia: New Study of 90,000 Over Decades - Good News Network

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

EA's cancelled Black Panther game would have featured an evolved take on Shadow of Mordor's Nemesis System - Eurogamer

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have a reading level above third grade

Why am I so afraid that gun owners have set traps to kill me outside my house or my car?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A Mistake Led to the Discovery of an Underwater Island Full of Rare Earth Elements - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Exclusive | Longevity Is Now a Factor When Picking an Embryo for IVF - WSJ

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

Rick Pitino 'Feels Bad' For Tom Thibodeau After Knicks Firing - Sports Illustrated

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do some people believe that Homelander would be no match for Superman or Thor?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A Year Out From the World Cup, the USMNT Looks Unprepared to Defend Home Turf - The Ringer

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Trump is at a moment of choosing as Israel looks for more US help crushing Iran's nuclear program - AP News

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

5 Things to Know Before the Stock Market Opens - Yahoo Finance

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

How do the police verify the authenticity of an online profile? What methods do they use to determine if a profile is real or fake?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”